My head was killing me. I opened my eyes and I saw the whole team staring at me in disbelief. Some of them wouldn't even look at me. I could tell something was wrong but I had no idea what had just happened.
 
Then the pain hit me like a truck. It ran throughout my arm and the throbbing and dizziness in my head wouldn't go away. I wanted to puke, but not just because of the pain. Injuries have unfortunately been a big part of my basketball career so a broken collarbone and concussion ranks pretty low compared to what I've had to fight through.  
 
But the idea of being off the court again and having to watch my guys battle without me is what really got to me. For the first time in what seemed like ages, I finally had a summer without recovering from an injury. I finally had a summer to dedicate to perfecting my craft in preparation for my last season of college basketball. It was only fitting that I hurt myself just before training camp.

It's crazy because growing up, I never even planned on playing basketball. I actually hated it the first time I gave it a try. Growing up in Munich, Germany, I was a huge soccer fan. I didn't even touch a basketball until I was 10 years old. It was traveling with my parents to watch my brother play all over the country that finally made me fall in the love with the game. I loved the creativity and the freedom of the game and I wanted to learn more.

After years of work and improvement, I was offered a scholarship by my dream school. Everyone on that team had either an offer to play for a Division I school or had an offer to play professionally, so as the youngest player, I wasn't expecting to play many minutes that first year. I figured I'd get there and I'd play a few minutes and get some experience. My coach didn't see it that way and he kind of threw me into the fire. I played pretty well and we made a run in the German national tournament.


 




"...but to actually hear those words, 'You are too injury prone; just shut it down and retire', it really devastated me."








This tournament included future NBA guys and a bunch of guys that play in the Euro League, and we were the team to beat. We made it to the semifinals and we found ourselves down 20. With nothing else to lose, coach gave me a shot to come in and give the team a spark.
 
I didn't disappoint him.

I came off the bench and I made a three right away. Then I got ball back and banged home another three. I was playing out of my mind. I was the youngest player on the team and I was bringing us back. We won that game and went on to win the championship and I started to get offers to U-18 national teams and the hype kind of started.
 
That was one of the greatest moments of my life. Unfortunately, reality has a tendency to bring you back down, and bring you down hard.
 
After winning the championship, I came back home and my hip was in a ton of pain. I went to the doctor and he told me I had a slipped disk and would need surgery. I never thought I could get injured. I was an active kid that felt invincible.
 
This was the beginning of a long, painful cycle for me.  

 
I was so excited for the next season after all we had accomplished the first year and coming back as an older guy on the team, I was ready to win another championship. Instead, I was at a rehab facility with a bunch of 60-70 year olds doing back exercises and they were doing them better than me. That was the first time I ever thought that I might be done with basketball and that I wouldn't be able to play again.
  
Eventually, I was offered a chance to sign and play for a professional team but I turned it down for one last ride with my guys and the chance to play college basketball. I had dreamed of playing in the NCAA tournament and I wanted to finish out my time with my guys with a championship.

That was a special team to be a part of.
 
We lived together, went to class together and we did everything together. We were like brothers. We made it back to the championship and played the team that we had lost to the year before. The game was at their place and we blew them out in our last game together. It was a great feeling but also one of the saddest of my life because we all knew that was the last time we would play together.
I loved my team.
 
I continued to get interest from professional teams but I shot them down and decided to attend the University of Utah. It was the only visit I took and I knew right away that that was where I wanted to go.

Looking back, I probably should have taken more time to evaluate the fit and the style of play of the university. A lot of times high school players don't look at the right things when they go through the recruitment process. That isn't anything against the other universities but players should look for the school that fits their needs and the way they want to play.
 
The college game is so different than the European game. That first year was a hard adjustment. I felt that I was losing my identity as a basketball player and that creative aspect of basketball that drove me was fading. I didn't expect to come in and dominate or anything but I felt that I would have made a little bit more of an impact and was doubting my decision to play college basketball.
 
It seemed that for every game that I would play and do well, there was a stretch of DNPs and I was convinced that I was going to go back to Germany and play professionally.
 
Fortunately, I finished the year strong and decided to come back. When I came back for my sophomore year, I got the opportunity to start and I felt like I had finally made it.

But then the pain came back. The pain was awful.
 
I had worked too hard to earn that starting spot and now it was going to taken away by another injury.
 
It was getting worse but I couldn't tell anyone because I didn't want to lose my spot. I knew that if I sat out, that spot would be gone and I couldn't let that happen, so I didn't tell anyone until Christmas. I finally told the trainer that I couldn't lift my leg and he sent me to the doctor. I was told just needed some rest and an injection and then I would be fine.
 
Yeah right.
 
It was all downhill from there. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong so we kept doing injections every couple weeks but they kept getting less effective. As we were practicing for the Pac-12 tournament I went up for dunk and as soon as I jumped, I was in more pain than I'd ever been in. I got shut down for the rest of the season. I had always dreamed of playing in the NCAA tournament and we were about to go and I was heartbroken. I had a sports hernia on both sides and I had to watch the team play without me.
 
I came back ready for the next year and it quickly became apparent that I wasn't going to play that year either.
 
I made it through five games. Five. Painful. Games.
 
I missed playing in the NCAA tournament and I was frustrated and couldn't understand why this kept happening to me.
 
As our end-of-season interviews with the coaches, and it became clear that my long-term health was a concern for them after three injury-riddled seasons. They suggested that I either go back to Germany to make the most of the years of health I had left or to retire and start considering my future career in either coaching or out of basketball. They told me they would continue to cover my schooling to help me finish my degree but wanted me to consider my health first.
 
Of all the injuries that I had gone through, this was the one that hurt the most. As I considered my options, I knew that if I walked away from without having given it my all, it would drive me insane. I had prepared myself for that meeting and knew that I could get shut down because my health had been so bad but to actually hear those words, "You are too injury prone; just shut it down and retire", it really devastated me. I felt broken, afraid, angry and frustrated.

I cried.
 
I couldn't let that happen. I started looking into transferring schools and realized that I needed to graduate first before I could go anywhere. I had just sat out a year and there was no way I was going to sit out another year without playing.
 
One small problem though: I was quite a few credits short of graduating.
 
With the help of the academic advisors at Utah, we put together a schedule that allowed me to complete all my credits in the summer. Academically, it was set up to be the worst summer of my life but it was doable and I was going to make it happen so that I could play again that next season.
 
I got everything going with my summer schedule and started the process of graduating. On a trip home to Germany I got treated by a German doctor and I felt the best I had in years. All that was left was to pass all my classes and graduate and I was going to be able to continue my basketball journey.

I didn't just pass those classes. I got an "A" in every single one. Coach K at Utah actually gave me a call after the fact to congratulate me on acing all those classes and graduating.
 
Once I got my release, I decided to stay in Utah and attend Utah Valley University. Utah felt like home to me and UVU felt like the right fit. To have a team take a chance on me not knowing what was going to happen, it meant a lot to me. That they believed in me enough to give me the opportunity to finish my collegiate career the right way made me realized that I wanted to play there and that that was the right fit for me.




 










"I knew that I wanted to play there and that it was the right fit for me. All that was left was to pass my classes and graduate and I was going to be a Wolverine."














Honestly, I couldn't believe that I made it through that summer. I also got to rest up my body more and arriving on campus at UVU, I felt more ready than ever to make an impact. Coach Pope helped me to bring back the joy in the gym and creativity and freedom of basketball that I originally fell in love with.
 
To be able to get up and down and be able to play without fear and channel everything into playing aggressively and on attack brought me back to my roots. The atmosphere at UVU allows you to play fast and have fun. I finally felt like I had found the right fit and was in a place that was going to help me be successful. Getting myself back to loving the game has reignited that fire I had as a teenager practicing all day in the gym.
 
I've got a degree from the U, I've got an MBA from UVU, and I'm ready to help this team make it to the NCAA tournament and finally play in it myself. I'm here for my guys. I've been through injuries and I've had plenty of opportunities to leave college behind and go back to Europe. I've had chances to retire and run away from this game and give into fear of failure or of being injured again. None of that can stop me from being here with my team and taking the next step together.

I'm not scared of anything.

But if you're trying to compete against UVU this season, you should be.